My Beautiful Mother

My Beautiful Mother
On our road trip to New Orleans, summer 2008.

Sunday, February 12, 2012

#13-Failure

A portion of J.K. Rowling's 2008 Harvard Commencement speech.

"The Fringe Benefits of Failure, and the Importance of Imagination"

So why do I talk about the benefits of failure? Simply because failure meant a stripping away of the inessential. I stopped pretending to myself that I was anything other than what I was, and began to direct all my energy into finishing the only work that mattered to me. Had I really succeeded at anything else, I might never have found the determination to succeed in the one arena I believed I truly belonged. I was set free, because my greatest fear had been realised, and I was still alive, and I still had a daughter whom I adored, and I had an old typewriter and a big idea. And so rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life.

You might never fail on the scale I did, but some failure in life is inevitable. It is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all – in which case, you fail by default.

Failure gave me an inner security that I had never attained by passing examinations. Failure taught me things about myself that I could have learned no other way. I discovered that I had a strong will, and more discipline than I had suspected; I also found out that I had friends whose value was truly above the price of rubies.

The knowledge that you have emerged wiser and stronger from setbacks means that you are, ever after, secure in your ability to survive. You will never truly know yourself, or the strength of your relationships, until both have been tested by adversity. Such knowledge is a true gift, for all that it is painfully won, and it has been worth more than any qualification I ever earned.

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

#12 Hi Mom

Mom-
Today, like so many other days, I needed you. I wanted to pick up the phone and call you. I miss you. This year has been so unbearly hard without you. Soon as I think that I have come to terms with the fact you are gone, something happens that takes me right back to that hospital room. I can't seem to erase away in my mind those final months and days when you suffered. I'm trying to cling to the happy memories, but they are hard to find admist the pain I saw you go through.
I worry for dad. I don't know how to be there for him. I can't imagine the lonlieness he must feel now that you're not here.
I find it hard to go to your grave. When I'm there, it just hurts so bad.
I need you.
I miss you.