ENTRY #3: A Broken Heart

Psalm 34:18

The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.

Psalm 73:26

My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.

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It has been a month and one day since my beloved mother went home to be with our Creator. As I sit this night, I am heartbroken.

The sting is not as heavy as it was the first couple of days after, but the pain is still there. It lingers in the background. The pain is like a bad taste in your mouth, although you may wash it away it still lingers.

I'm trying to remember all the good memories, the times when she was happy, but it's hard to find those memories in my brain. The most vivid pictures that are playing over and over in my head are of those last two months. And although I cherish those days with her, it was hard watching her be so sick like that.

A friend of mine who lost her brother a few years back, told me that there will be good days and bad. And some days will be bad, but you can still carry on. But then there will be those days that are really, really bad and when those come you just let them happen. You have to let the hurt out, you have to allow yourself to feel it.

Today is one of those days! I feel the hurt in every fiber of my body, every is corner is flooded with sadness. I know things will look brighter in the morning, but for now I will sit here, surrounded by the pieces of my broken heart. And I will mourn.