#12 Hi Mom

Mom-
Today, like so many other days, I needed you. I wanted to pick up the phone and call you. I miss you. This year has been so unbearly hard without you. Soon as I think that I have come to terms with the fact you are gone, something happens that takes me right back to that hospital room. I can't seem to erase away in my mind those final months and days when you suffered. I'm trying to cling to the happy memories, but they are hard to find admist the pain I saw you go through.
I worry for dad. I don't know how to be there for him. I can't imagine the lonlieness he must feel now that you're not here.
I find it hard to go to your grave. When I'm there, it just hurts so bad.
I need you.
I miss you.